Life Update - Boston Gilbert

Life Update - Boston Gilbert

Nearing the end of a wild 2018, I’ve decided to write a life update. For anyone who is interested, my motivation behind writing this is two-part. First, to give a little insight into where I’m at, what I’m doing, and where I’m headed. Second, to share some thoughts I’ve had, lessons I’m learning, and hopefully, to encourage others.

Boring stuff - I’m entering into my 3^rd year spring at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, TX. I am set to graduate with a sport management degree in December of 2019, a semester earlier than what would be my normal May 2020 graduation. Technically, when I head back to school in January 2019, I’ll be a first semester senior…crazy! My family moved to Franklin, TN, from San Antonio, TX this past summer. It’s weird not being home in SA over the Christmas break, but the Nashville area is really cool and I’ve enjoyed exploring it – even though I’m missing my SA relationships dearly.

Stuff I actually want to write about - The story of the beginning of my year can’t be told without mention of a couple events. I actually got a girlfriend! I know, weird, right!? I’m not sure if he’ll read this, but I’m sure Stephen Herrera is chuckling to himself right now if he is. Also, Greyson shared with me the song “Woman For Me” by Rayland Baxter yesterday, and revealed how this song, which hums “Tell me, Lord, where do I find the woman for me?” used to remind him of me. Lol. Thanks, bro. She probably won’t like me writing this, but all jokes aside, dating Eliana Yellin is an honor and a joy. She is a good gift. She’s never known me as a soccer player. She’s just known me as me, and that was enough for her, which has helped me know that can be enough for me too. I don’t always get it right, but El, I promise I’ll keep trying my best to be the man you deserve.

Next, the game that I’ve played nearly every day for the past decade was stripped from me. The physical journey that was chosen for me began on September 27^th, 2017. I sprained my right ankle during an SMU soccer training session on the 27^th, woke up the next day, taped it, popped some Advil, and went to training. During that next training session, I did my left one in. After training on September 28^th, I was left with two sprained ankles. I thought maybe I was just the unluckiest dude ever, but sprained ankles were nothing I hadn’t recovered from before. I didn’t think too much of it other than pondering how strange it was that I managed to wreck both of them during back-to-back sessions. September passed, October passed, November passed. After countless hours of balancing on a BOSU ball, doing ankle pumps with a resistance band, ice, and elevation, I rehabbed the sprains. Although, a concentrated pain located at a specific spot on the inside of both of my feet was still present. I received an MRI on both feet. The scans revealed extra bone growth on my navicular bone, which is a bone that is south of the inside of your ankle, on both feet. The physician explained to me that a small percentage of the population is born with this extra bone, which they have dubbed “Accessory Navicular” as the medical term. Due to years of wear and tear, the posterior tibial tendon, which runs down your leg and over the navicular bone (in my case, it was having to run over more surface area of the navicular bone because of the extra bone,) was damaged – not torn, but stretched and strained.

Come January 2018, the pain hadn’t left. The doctor explained to me how he couldn’t operate on both feet at the same time. The repercussions wouldn’t be manageable. In addition, after performing surgery on one foot, a full recovery was necessary before doing the second – in order to avoid compromising the work done on the first, as he informed me that it would be three months non weight-bearing and six months until a full recovery. On February 1^st, I committed to a year-long healing process…on top of the three months of rehab I had done prior. The surgeon removed the extra bone and re-anchored the posterior tibial tendon to the navicular bone on my right foot. Six months to the day, on August 1^st, I had the second surgery – on my left foot.

Today is December 24^th, 2018. I am just shy of a year and three months from the last day I played soccer. That period of time included a total of six months without walking and nine months of rehab…with, ideally, about two more months of rehab to go.

Now that I’ve shared much of the logistics, I’d like to share a little bit about how these experiences have impacted me.

I never realized how much of my identity was wrapped up in soccer until I lost it. I failed to grasp how much of an idol I had made the game until it was taken. The injuries have enabled me to re-embark on the quest to gain deeper understanding of how the Lord uses suffering, trial, adversity, pain, and discipline to shape me. Why do bad things happen? In my experience, I’ve found this to be one of the most commonly asked questions. After losing my father early in life, I began to consider this question. Although, that pain was not just a crushing individual pain, but pain that was shared by a family, a community, and a country. In a different way, the pain I’ve experienced of having my lifestyle, primary passion, and possibly my dream career stolen from me has been a pain that is, by nature, highly personal and not universally shared. Navigating this journey, although vastly different than the loss of a parent, has still been extremely challenging. I essentially lost life as I knew it. To some, this may sound dramatic, but it might resonate to anyone who has dedicated their entire life to a singular mission and found their identity in that mission.

2018 has for sure been the second hardest year of my life. As it comes to a close, and so does the season of surgeries and foot injuries, I see new hope. I see a new year on the horizon. I see a dawn that is filled with new adventures, new stories, and exciting opportunities. I see the potential to redeem what was lost and then some, but not dwell in the past. I see the potential for a new man to be born out of the crucible of disappointment, unfulfilled expectation, and lost hope.

On a logistical note, I am going to try and play soccer again. I’m not totally sure what that will look like, but I feel a prick in my heart to lace up the boots again. I’m looking forward to a fun, but challenging spring semester. I have to complete an internship this summer, so we’ll see what the Lord has in store for that. Also, I have visions of potentially playing soccer in graduate school somewhere – need to keep giving that desire to Jesus. Whether or not any or all of this comes into fruition, I desire for the Lord to have my heart…and for my emotions, will, attitude, passions and desires to not be wholly consumed with my own expectations, but to reach inward peace and rest in the Lord. Admittedly, I’m not there yet. I believe the Lord is molding these traits in me. Even if it’s hard, I want to say “yes” to what He is doing.

Last, I would be mistaken to not mention some (but definitely not all) of the people who have walked alongside me during this year, pulled me out of darkness and into light, and who continue to see a hope and a future in me that sometimes I have difficulty seeing myself. First, my family. My mom and dad are monumental. Greyson, Bella, Aspen and Annalise – thank you all for always being there. Eliana, thank you. Phil Ponder, Tosh Yasuda, Matt Gold, everyone with the last name “DeFrees,” Jared Odenbeck, Jack Hansing, Jacob Woodcock, all of my SMU soccer boys, Jared Rice, Michael Carter, Chief Dearduff, my roommates, Boppa, Sam Walker, John Gold, Eric Eaton, Steve Harrold, the Schick bros. Thank you. I’d be nothing without you all and anyone else who has shepherded me who I didn’t mention. You know who you are.

To close, here are a couple verses from the song “Seasons” by Hillsong Worship. (Song credit goes to El Yellin)

Like the frost on a rose
Winter comes for us all
Oh how nature acquaints us
With the nature of patience
Like a seed in the snow
I’ve been buried to grow
For Your promise is loyal
From seed to sequoia

Though the winter is long even richer
The harvest it brings
Though my waiting prolongs even greater
Your promise for me like a seed
I believe that my season will come

I can see the promise
I can see the future
You’re the God of seasons
I’m just in the winter
If all I know of harvest
Is that it’s worth my patience
Then if You’re not done working
God I’m not done waiting
You can see my promise
Even in the winter
Cause You’re the God of greatness
Even in a manger
For all I know of seasons
Is that You take Your time
You could have saved us in a second
Instead You sent a child